Coach: How do I get back into work after raising a family?

I have been bringing up children for the past few years and I now need – and want – to return to working in architecture. How do I go about this? It feels like an age since I was practising and things have no doubt moved on. I could obviously get in touch with previous studios, but I really sense what would work for me has changed; going back to the kind of role I did pre-children doesn’t feel right.

Many people find they don’t want to just slot back into their old life once they’re ready to return to the workplace after kids. Indeed, you may find that your values have shifted, that old, dormant interests start fizzing to the surface of your consciousness again, or that your eyes have been opened to many more potential opportunities.

Think of your career break not as a hindrance to your career, but as an ideal opportunity. You may never get the chance to step off the career treadmill again, so embrace this chance to really work out what you’d love to do – and be brave enough to go for it.

First, step back a little. Think through your preferences, strengths, values, experience, goals, and what is important to you now. 

Write a list of all of the roles you have ever done and, for each of them, identify what you enjoyed, felt challenged by, disliked, and what gave the most work satisfaction. 

Look for patterns – are there any particular skills or roles that stand out as ones you particularly love? Or ones you really don’t enjoy?

Pay attention to anything you learn about yourself, and use it to inform the type of roles you look for, or practices you apply for roles at. 

We are often blind to our strengths, particularly those that we do very well. Ask other people to tell you what they are. Pick six people who know you well and ask them what they think you are good at. Then look through the lists and highlight those that overlap with your possible work interests.

If you find yourself saying things like ‘oh that is too hard to get into’ or ‘I don’t have the right experience’, it may be that you are underestimating yourself. While it’s quite understandable for your confidence to have reduced following a break, don’t forget what you have done and achieved in the past.

And don’t forget the ‘work’ you have been doing while raising your family. Many of the skills you have had to acquire to do that are equally valuable in the workplace. These can include negotiating, communicating and organising.

After this reflection, you’ll need to look for opportunities; they may not come to you. 

Your network can be a rich source of information when investigating work options, and can make helpful introductions. Get your profiles up to date, then connect with ex-colleagues, friends, and any other potentially useful acquaintances. A recommended potential employee is much more attractive to an employer than someone they don’t know.

AJ Coach Matthew Turner is an architect and careers consultant who runs the Building on Architecture consultancy. Email him in confidence at hello@buildingonarchitecture.com